Terminal Bachelor, Famous Ladies Man
by HopelessRomantic79
Summary: Charlie Swan isn't shabby with the ladies... His mustache and handcuffs make for one powerful seduction tool. O/S. Canon.


**A/N: This idea comes, of course, from Charlie's epic line in New Moon. Who else fell just a little bit more in love with Chuck in that movie?! Oh man, I love him. So I thought I'd write a little o/s about the ladies in his life, and of course, his sexy porno stache. ;-) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, not even the title. But that's OK. **

First it started with the ex. The one he regarded as the love of his life. The wound had never really healed from that one.

Renee hadn't been his first girlfriend, but she had been his first love, wife, and mother of his child. And nothing and no one could ever replace that. He had tried, countless times, to remove all the things that reminded him of her- Renee had left her mark on everything down to the curtains- but each time, his hands wouldn't comply and everything stayed just as it was.

At least he'd changed the sheets since she'd left. Nothing smelled like her anymore.

He'd tried to replace the smell of her with other women's perfume. Chief Swan had never been shabby with the ladies. Standoffish perhaps, and more than a little shy, but it was regarded as endearing more than anything. Mysterious. Chuck was hard to read, but women like that, don't they?

Few people knew that the good Police Chief Swan tickled lady parts in all the right places with his mustache. And he did it well.

No one made up for the gaping hole in his heart Renee had formed, but he did his best to fill them, and no one ever complained. His handcuffs did more time on bedposts than criminals wrists. Forks isn't an active town after all. Chuck was.

Bella moved back, and Charlie was secretly elated. Bella had her mother's smile, but he ignored the painful similarities, and did his best to welcome her home. He'd have to be more discreet with his encounters now. Nothing worse than having your teenaged daughter catch you being anything less than fatherly.

But then Bella started up with the Cullen kid, and started bringing Alice home with her.

He knew it was wrong, because she was in high school, but Charlie couldn't help but fall just a tiny bit in love with his daughter's new best friend. He might as well arrest himself now for the feelings and thoughts he had for Alice.

She had short hair, cropped close to the face, highlighting her delicate features. Just like Renee. Charlie mentally slapped himself for making the comparison, but it couldn't be helped. Alice was beautiful, smart, and wise beyond her years. Charlie always felt like she knew something he didn't, like she was so full of secrets, and he'd never know them all.

But how he wanted to know them. And her. In the Biblical sense. Which was so wrong.

She was some sort of minx, or maybe the Devil incarnate, he wasn't sure which, to make him feel the way he did about her. He was pretty sure even Bella knew of his infatuation, and Alice, with her significant glances, definitely knew. Every once in a while, she'd give him a little wink, and he'd feel things in his pants that no grown man should have over a minor.

And then Harry died. Harry, one of Charlie's oldest and dearest friends. He meant a lot more to Charlie than just a fishing buddy, and it had been harder than he'd anticipated to say goodbye.

Sue needed him now. He did everything he could for her, including helping her through that time when Leah and Seth went crazy and gave Sue a hard time. He'd never understood teenagers, which always made it awkward between him and his now-married daughter. That was something he'd never been able to wrap his head around… especially when things got freaky.

The less he knew, the better.

And Sue helped him through those rough and troubled times, just as much as he'd helped her. Or maybe more.

He never saw anyone but her anymore. To be honest, he'd been rather celibate ever since Bella moved home, completely by accident. And now it was because the only woman he really and truly cared about was his best friend's widow. And he didn't want to move too quickly. She trusted him completely, and he needed to be whatever she needed him to be. Which, at the moment, was a friend.

Until one night, when she was making him dinner. Her hair, which was graying at the temples, was pulled back, and he could easily appreciate the long line of skin there. He wanted a taste. But he was too afraid to; he didn't want her to scamper away like an afraid rabbit.

But Sue was stronger than she looked, and she sensed his presence behind her.

"Don't lurk in the doorway," she lightly scolded. "Sit down, dinner's almost ready."

He saw a steady, bright fire in her eyes, one that had been burnt out when Harry died. It had been more than a year, and that fire was back. Not as strong, but it was there. He wondered where that fire had come from. And yet… the way she was looking at him now, even in his old, faded flannel shirt he used to wear out fishing with Harry… it was easy to believe that the reason was him.

He took a long pull from his Vitamin R and watched her. She had always been beautiful, enough for him to fully appreciate it, but she had always been his friend's wife. Now she could be something more. The feeling itched at him.

"Charlie?" She was looking at him now, not with fire but with annoyance. "Did you hear me?"

"Uh, no," he stammered, realizing she'd probably just caught him staring at her.

"I asked you if you wanted two or three pieces?" She gestured towards the salmon frying on the stove, freshly caught last week by his own rod and reel.

"Um, three," he said.

"Are you alright? You have a funny look on your face," she observed.

"It's nothing," he said. "I'm fine."

"OK," she said, and turned back to the stove. Surreptitiously, he continued to observe her backside. For a woman easily in her late forties, she was beautiful. He wanted to…

"Charlie Swan! What's the matter with you?!" she exclaimed, and he realized now he was staring at her front side, as she whirled around. She'd caught him again.

"Nothing! I mean, I- and then- and- I'm sorry, Sue," he stuttered. He wasn't easy with words, but it was rare when Charlie stammered.

She gave him a knowing look, hands on her hips. He tried to look apologetic, but he wasn't really sorry. It was too easy, with her like this, to forget the boundaries they'd somehow silently set up. He hated them, but he knew that there were rules, just like laws, that had to be followed and obeyed.

So he was shocked as hell when she strode across the kitchen, took his head between her hands, and leaned down to kiss him.

Her lips were soft and gentle, making no demands against his. He felt his eyes shut closed as she pressed herself against him, but he didn't dare reach out to touch, no matter how badly he wanted to. This was about her, not him.

"Kiss me back," she breathed. "Please."

He pulled away for a moment. "Are you sure?"

She didn't say anything, but nodded, eyes filled with tears. Yet she didn't look sad. She leaned forward, and he couldn't stop himself this time from returning the kiss. It was sweet, but held yearning for more, from him, from Sue, or from both of them, he couldn't tell. He let his hands wander to her waist, and tugged so she was sitting on his lap. Her arms wound around his shoulders, and for the first time since Renee had gone, he kissed a woman with passion and genuine feelings. It was new and startling, and he loved it. He pulled her closer, and their tongues danced together. He felt… good again. More complete than he had been since Renee left.

Maybe Charlie Swan wouldn't be a terminal bachelor after all.

Though maybe, perhaps, he could still be a famous ladies man.


End file.
